One of my inspirations, Shane Parrish of The Knowledge Project, likes to finish his interviews with the question, “What does success mean to you?” He does this to get a deeper insight into how his guests orient themselves in the world. These guests are generally people who have achieved a great deal of outward success, that is, recognizable achievements in their chosen field. But what is driving them? Their answers are never the same: Some of his guests will say, “It’s always been…”; while others say, “Well, I used to think success is…. but now I think it’s…” The fact is, success isn’t something that can be defined by others. We all know versions of “A Christmas Carol” where all the money in the world doesn’t make Ebenezer happy… And for some people, money really does float their boat.

As a coach, part of my job is to help people identify their idea of success and then to support them to put things in place to help them get there. My clients can struggle with different parts of this journey. Some have a clear idea of success but are floundering on their next steps, while many others aren’t clear on their idea of success. And in some cases, their stated idea of success is misaligned with their talents and values – they are playing someone else’s game.

Clarifying success

Clarifying what success is to people is a significant part of my work. We live in a world that is bombarding us with images and ideals. These come on top of all the expectations we picked up from our family and friends while growing up. Other people’s voices live in our heads. Uncovering what success is for ourselves is indeed a worthy challenge, for it helps us tap into the motivation and energy to tackle challenges as they arise. More importantly, the question asks us to take ourselves and our needs seriously. Even if we don’t get a clear answer straight away, giving ourselves time to ask ourselves “What does success mean to me?” is an act of self-care that usually pays dividends.

Achieving success

But the journey doesn’t end there. Just because Odysseus knew success for him was getting home to see his wife and child, it didn’t make the journey any easier! Even with a clear destination, the journey often asks unexpected things of us. This is the second aspect of success being an inside job –

When confronted with the unexected, do we act out of habit and do what we have always done? Or do we find ourselves responding differently, finding something new?

Taking the road less traveled usually means we have more work to do, and this means challenging not just our skills and motivation, but sometimes our identity – “Who am I to be doing this?” And so the challenges of the outside world often require us to re-evaluate who we think we are and what we are capable of. Being able to admit to ourselves that we may have to change and grow to meet the challenges of the journey really does require some internal work. This is the second area where I help clients.

Tough choices – Knowing his destination didn’t make it easy: Odysseus squares up against the Scylla to avoid being swallowed by the whirlpool of Charybdis.

Success for teams

Moving beyond personal versions of success, many of my clients are leaders of large teams and companies. While I do coach them on their own personal version of success and leadership, their work requires helping teams and organizations meet new goals, targets, and directions: Just as individuals struggle to meet the challenges of new goals, market forces, and workplace changes; teams and organizations also have to find new Ways of Working together – WoW! Again, this is both an inside and an outside job. People will be asked to focus on different tasks, meet new customer needs, use different systems, all the while figuring out how they work together differently and evolve as a group to meet the new challenges.

*It is inescapable – the road to success is a two-fold path. The ever-changing outward landscape and goal fulfillment require us to think and act differently. And this is something we determine from our inner landscape and mindset. It isn’t “either/or,” it’s “both/and.” The journey to success requires an outward goal and an inner journey. The way we grow from the journey is where true fulfillment lies.

I will end with one of my colleague’s definitions of success, and a personal favorite,

“Success is a calm nervous system”

Now it doesn’t get anymore “inside” than that!