Being authentic at work – what does that even mean? And who decides whether I am “appropriately authentic” – Me or work? At what price?
As well-meaning as it might sound, this article uncovers some of the less positive aspects of the Authenticity Movement.
Below are seven challenges we face when trying to be “authentic” at work”:
Challenge #1: Which self are we talking about?
- The me that farts and picks his teeth and doesn’t feel like getting up? Or the polite me?
- And what about the me I am with my six-year old boy? My partner? My doctor?
- Or the me that squirrels things away because “I might need it someday” – even when others could benefit from having it?
- Or the empathic, curious, funny me that is both good at listening and able to start a conversation?
Which “me” would you prefer sitting next at work? Clearly the “me” that shows up is influenced by context.
Challenge # 2: What if the authentic me might not be all that useful at work?
Perhaps things are not going well in my personal life and all I want to do is shout fury at the world, or even cry my eyes out – what then? At least work will get me out of the house so I don’t have to deal with whatever domestic problems I have.
My workplace might provide welcome relief from all the “authentic feelings” of my home life. Moreover, such authenticity is unlikely to be useful at work. In fact, my workplace might actually benefit from me leaving “myself” to come and focus on “my job.”
It is ok, even beneficial, to go to work as an escape from the “authentic problems” we all struggle with from time to time.
Challenge #3: Is it possible?
In the work I have done around inclusion and bias, for some people it simply isn’t safe to “be themselves” – some people have even be ostracised for it. To counter this, some people are able find other ways to express themselves, but for many, this is a difficult price to pay… So while the concept of being able to be yourself at work has merit, it’s far from straight forward and may not actually work for some.
What’s more, where does the onus lie to make someone able to “be themselves at work”? Is it on the company? Then if so, they have an obligation to make sure their workplace is “safe” by doing things like confronting bullying, not just making pledges. (See this great series of articles by Martin Knowles on the subject of bullying.)
If it is up to the individual, then great, let’s promote self-responsibility and be ourselves. And do we do that regardless of the consequences at work? Or is it yet another corporate double-speak where we have to find an acceptable version of:
“Be yourself – or your out!”
Challenge #4 – Is it achievable?
Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of positive to be had when people can take off their “armour” and relax – and for many, such places are few and far between. Companies, and the people who work in them, benefit tremendously from people being more vulnerable at work. However, there will be rules, spoken and many unspoken, about the limits of what that “authenticity” is allowed to be. And this isn’t necessarily a bad thing: there is something to putting on a nice set of clothes to go to work, even when I don’t feel like it, that benefits everyone.
So when we are trying to be ourselves, which selves are we choosing? And how much choice do we really have?
Challenge #5 – Does the request to be “authentic” actually help?
When asking people to “be yourself at work,” we are potentially creating a double-bind: Before, I was just going to work, but now I also need to think about who I am as well? Really?? Is this part of my job description?
And is this really a choice, or something we just do? If I spend an hour doing my hair to look and feel good, or just show up shabby – which is authentic? And once we have been asked to “be more authentic”, how can we possibly avoid curating the self that shows up?
So the request itself may actually promote a kind of extra mental labour – an extra task. Am I being myself at work? Am I doing it “right”? How will I know?? For those who this isn’t a problem and they just show up (bless you, I wish I was like that!) it becomes a needless chore. And for those who are already battling, there comes extra pressure to do the right thing.
Let’s call the whole thing off…
Challenge #6 – The benefits of being more than yourself at work
I am going to flip it now and suggest being yourself at work could also be limiting – what if your self-esteem or self-perception is an incomplete version of yourself? Some of us may get a lot of benefit from being asked to step outside the comfort-zone of what we know of “being ourselves.”
Perhaps we want to be more than we know how to be? Perhaps we’d like to be a version of ourselves that seems impossible because of old stories and circumstances?
An old colleague of mine never thought of being anything other than the receptionist until her boss suggested she take on a project manager role. To do so, she had to overcome the authentic catch cry of
“ooh, I couldn’t do that,”
Even though she’d effectively think ahead about the needs of everyone that walks in the door and how those needs could be met.
Don’t get me wrong, for some people being a contented receptionist is actually a perfect expression of themselves. But for many, the workplace can offer the chance to be more than we thought: When a senior you respect taps you on the shoulder and says, “Hey, I think you’re ready to step up,” you might find yourself in an authentic dilemma: Do you follow their truth or your own?
Authenticity could become a weird mental cage that actually keeps people small.
Challenge #7 – Work is a false proxy for Life
Finally, let’s not forget if the company wants you to be authentic, they will be doing so because it makes you more productive, and them more profitable. So just check, who you are being “authentic” for – the company, or yourself?
Going a little bit deeper, this is probably the most sinister side of the Authenticity Movement. That is, the elevation of work to become something Utopian –
WORK – where YOU can be all you can BE!
For example, today the workplace is touted as the place where you can have it all. You can:
- Fulfill your life purpose
- Make loads of money*
- Spend time with your friends
- Learn more and test yourself
- Go on adventures and “conquer new territories”
In short, work has been elevated to the place where you live your whole life. And by doing so, asks you to give your life in return. Is that the exchange we want?
This is a drastic change from the workplace of 50 years ago. No one expected so much from their workplace, nor were they so dependent on it. Miserable? Go to Work. Lonely? Go to Work. Need to provide? Go to Work. Need a sense of self-worth? Go to Work. Not sure about what it all means? Go to Work…
Now we have been corralled into an almost cult-like state of followership, where Work will feed all our needs. Many of us, myself included, love our jobs – that is fine. But this call to “be authentic” at work might just be propaganda aimed at getting us to sacrifice ourselves on the Altar of Work. For some of us, that might be really rewarding, for others, not so much. And maybe its healthy that we need other places to really be ourselves?
Summary
I don’t think the intention of leaders to make a workplace where people “can be themselves” is a bad thing – quite the opposite. In fact, there are benefits when leaders create a space that people can feel relaxed in. However, it has to be up to us to decide if work is a safe place for us to show up authentically – whether as ourselves, as a Seventies Disco Diva, or as our Spreadsheet Superhero Self (comic character coming soon). I once worked with a colleague who was completely hard-nosed at work, and then come 5 pm became the life of the party… Which was truly her?
For all the reasons above, I am wary of the cry for authenticity as a bench-mark for a healthy organisation. Surely this is an individual decision. Perhaps the part of me that hides part of myself for fear of retribution is actually me being my authentic self…
In conclusion, when you hear the call to be authentic, please feel free to say
“Go F**k Yourself!”
(or Not…)
Thanks for reading!
I’d really love to hear from people who have struggled to be authentic at work, and if that has been a challenge, how you have managed that? Did you stay and find other ways to do so? Or did you leave and find a place that allows you to be more you? I’d love to know…
*(In a capitalist society, you’d be better off investing rather than collecting a salary to make lots of money.)